No, I'm Not Blind

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.
--James Thurber

Awareness.  Non-hoarders wonder how we can live with all our stuff piled around us.  I think it's weird how I can ignore the clutter and  live with it.  No, that's not true - I always SEE the clutter but somehow I turn a switch off in my brain that decides I'm NOT going to do something about it.  After all my hours of looking for other blogs by hoarders, I see a recurring statement over and over.  I've even heard people say it on the show Hoarders.  There is so much to do, I didn't know where to start, so I do nothing - outwardly, but inwardly I'm filled with another sense of failure and disgust. 

I am aware that when I do start to clean something I do it very thoroughly.  If my floors are dirty, I don't get a mop and a bucket, I get a heavy duty sponge, paper towels and a bowl of hot sudsy water.  And a heavy towel for me to kneel on as I clean my floors down on my knees.  It's that or nothing I'm afraid.  That's my way of doing the job perfectly and if I can't - then the floor doesn't get cleaned.  Not a very balanced way to do housework!!!  Certainly not efficient.

For four years I didn't have a working oven.  The burners did, which was a blessing, and I used a toaster oven and microwave to take care of oven items I wanted. ( In fact I was pretty proud what I could whip up in that tiny toaster overn.) This past Christmas I got my NEW range ... with a working oven, self cleaning and it was the loviest gift I've received in ages, since I'm a baker - the oven is pretty important to me.  It also makes me a little anil now about keeping it clean.  Other's don't seem to be as passionate as I am to keep is spotless.  I understand that and often hear my Mother's  comments made to me when I was a teenager and cooking in HER kitchen (They went in one ear and out the other, I'm sad to say)   Paybacks are a bitch!  The  bottom line with my stove is - I will clean it daily to keep it in perfect condition.  My new dishwasher is getting the same excellent care but the poor ol' fridge ... not so much.  I half-heartedly try to keep it clean but to be honest it's never as clean as I wish it was.

I'd better wind this up and get to bed.  The more I try to proof this the more I keep changing it and pretty soon it's just going to be gobble-dee-gook and make no sense to anyone.

Thanks for reading this far.  Hope I didn't totally confuse you.  Perhaps I shouldn't write at night, especially after I've taken my pills.  (LOL)

Night all,
Karen

"Are you living or just existing?"

-Tyler Perry