110311 - How Many Do I Need?

Be careful what you think because you will say it,
Be careful what you say because you will do it,
Be careful what you do because you will become it

OK, the question of the day is, how many pairs of black pants does one person need?  I have an OVER abundance of them.  I'm wondering if they're like hangers and multiple when left alone in the dark?  I got rid of two of them tonight baccuse they were the kind that attracts lint and I don't want to hang on to any like that.  (I'm perfectly aware that's why lint brushes were invented but I try to not keep clothes that are high maintenance - lol)

Yes, I was going through more piles of clothes today.  Found my Halloween tee shirt ... oops too late for this year (darn)!  I've started putting my tee shirts in one of my dresser drawers.  When it gets full I plan to pull them out and get rid of some more.  (I know that's crazy but it's where I'm at today) Same question as before ... how many tee shirts does one person need?  I've definitely got more than any one person needs.  Many of them are from my last job at Inet/Tektronix.  I threw half of the them away because they have a funny look to them.  (I guess that will happen after sitting in my bathtub for 3 years ... 4 years ... 5?  I really don't know at this point and it doesn't really matter)

Discovered several purple outfits (circa Red Hat - you can never have too many red or purple outfits!) and some  casual jackets I used to wear when I was working.  Those were hard to part with because they good with pants.  They didn't make the cut ... this time.  I can see where this is going to take a few sessions of letting go.  The funniest thing that I didn't want to part with was my good business suits.  Where in the world am I going to wear them now?  (I guess I'm retired, it's not official but a pretty good bet).  Perhaps I should have a "try on" fashion day to help make it easier to decide which outfits I will keep and which one's need to find a new home. 


A couple of friends gave me a whole bunch of their clothes (really nice ones) that no longer fit them and I keep hoping/dreaming/wishing that I'll lose enough weight and can wear them.  I think for now my best bet would be to just keep a few of the pants and let the rest go.  Why is it so much easier to "think" that than to "do" it?  Guess I've always had a problem of letting go of clothes and that's probably because I hate to shop for them because it's depressing and irritating, not to mention the committee that convenes in my head to discuss issues like ... why don't you lose some weight?  Why don't you just walk 3 times a week?  Yada yada yada ... never fun and always depressing.

One thing I want to do is find out if there is a woman's shelter I can give the clothes too.  I think if I knew my clothes were going to a place like that I might be easy to let go.  How do I find out if there's one in my area - do I call the non emergency police number an ask them?  Any suggestions would be welcome!

My best find today?  That would be all the heavy plastic hangers I came up with as I discarded the clothes that were on them!  Whoo Hoo!  (Baby steps are much better than just "thinking" about doing it and any action is better than none!)

I almost forgot to mention the HUGE step I took today .... I posted on my Facebook Page that I've started this blog about hoarding.  For someone who's as big a people pleaser, as I am, it felt like walking out on a tightrope.  I'm truly proud of myself that I actually announced, to the world, what I'm battling with.  The responses I received were so loving and warm, it truly warmed my heart and filled it with so much gratitude!  Thank you   Doylene, Sara, Stacy, Ruth, and Tiffany. I know I can do ANYTHING when I have amazing people like you in my life.

Sending you a (((HUG))) Texas size hug to everyone who responded with love.  You'll never understand how much it truly meant to be LOVED and not JUDGED!  I can go to bed with a peaceful heart knowing I did my 15 minutes today and opened my self up on Facebook ... would that be like coming out of the closet or just jumping out of the plane, or bungee jumping?  Whatever it was scary!  The plus side - I feel stronger and proud of myself for taking the risk.

XOXO,
Karen

110211 - Day 2 Patron Saints of Hoarders

Anything you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its usefulness possesses you.
And in this materialistic age, a great many of us are possessed by our possessions."
- Mildred Lisette Norman

I did my 15 minutes tonight and had another wonderful discovery ... I found my favorite winter coat.
It's black, lightweight, and has a hood.  I just LOVE it and wondered what had happened to it.  Since I don't like a heavy coat, this one is perfect because I can wear a sweater or sweatshirt underneath it!  Even found a pair of black sparkly gloves in the pockets!  Whoo Hoo!  I love me a little bling! lol

I worked with 4 piles as I sorted more clothes:  1) toss, 2) donate, 3) keep, and 4) need to try on

It's still hard for me to just toss clothes but if I know I'll never use them again and can't imagine anyone else buying it at Goodwill ... then it's out the door.  A tiny part of me is considering putting it all in a box and setting on the curb with FREE written on the box.  I'll have to give this some more
thought.  I wish I could figure out WHY it's so hard to me to let clothes go.  I've learned that it's
a common problem with hoarders.

Here's a bit of fun.  In one of my online hoarder groups, the discussion about patron saints was brought up.  I've often prayed when I lose something so this is something I believe in.

Saint Nicholas is patron saint of rag pickers & pawnbrokers & people who are trying to redeem people/things from bondage.

Another saint for hoarders might be Saint Francis of Assisi who gave up his family's wealth and his own clothes.

St Anthony, patron saint of lost things. He hears from me alot!

St Alphonsus had problems with scrupulosity. His religious order has an online site called Scrupulous Anonymous, with some very comforting thoughts and a newsletter each month.

And don't forget St Jude (famous hospital named for him) - patron saint of desperate cases and lost causes.

The saint in my home is St. Joseph, and though many bury him upside down on their property to sell their homes, he is really the patron saint of families. He reminds me to be a good parent, and with tools in hand he speaks to my crafting side. I like to work with my hands a lot making art, jewelry, knitting, etc.

Another isn't so much of a "saint", but feels like one. It's Buddha, he reminds me to do less with more, share what I have with others, and that `It's not the end of the world.' And how you solve a problem is sometimes in the way in which you react to it.

I love trivia and hope you enjoyed this little bit today.

Wishing you 15 minutes today to do just a little bit to improve your life!
Karen

110111 November is a new month

I can't believe I didn't blog once in October!  Well, I've discovered that I accomplish a lot more when I do post.  Where did October go ... it certainly flew by for me!  Here's something I ran across that I thought was worth sharing. 

1. What is the MAIN thing that, if you don't make progress on it today, you'll be upset about at the end of the day?

Focus on that main thing and do not answer any interruptions for a time while you're working on it. People can call back or come back later if they need to talk to you.

2. If it's hard to choose that ONE thing, then ask yourself, what is the one thing that will give you the biggest feeling of accomplishment and peace of mind - if you make progress on it today?

Here's to doing a little each day and making some progress this month!

Karen

I Much Prefer Progress to being Paralized

Hello ...

The last two weeks have been tough.  First a family crisis that I completely shut down over and then I started getting sick with an upper respitory thingy.  Last week I had to make due with Nyquil until I could see my doctor yesterday.  He confirmed my suspicion that I had bronchitis and now I'm on an antibiotic.  In just 24 hours I can feel an improvement, so I hope each day this week brings an increase in energy.

This week my goals are:

1. 60 minutes a day decluttering my bedroom
2. Pack up 25 books in a box daily and take out to my car
3. Declutter entry way and wash floor.
4. Keep track of how many minutes I spend on my computer daily

What I'm trying NOT to do is beat myself up because I haven't been productive.  I did the best I could today and tomorrow I'll do the best I can, hopefully making some progress!  Falling off the horse isn't  the problem, it's not getting back on again!

I've recommended the following site before, and after reading her latest post today, wanted to share it again because the lady is so honest about her journey.  It's called "A Slob Comes Clean".  I look forward to reading it every day and highly recommend it to anyone who's on the decluttering journey.  Often she gives me words for many of the emotions I'm feeling and that's a priceless gift.

http://www.aslobcomesclean.com

Thanks for stopping by and keeping me company!
Karen

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak." -- Hans Hofmann

Monday is a NEW Day

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak." -- Hans Hofmann

091211 - It's a new day, a new week, and I'm choosing to be an active participant in my life and not an immobile by stander.  I'm going to keep a list going of what I need to do and what I've accomplished.  I believe the depression I've been suffering the last couple of weeks is directly due to my unproductability (is that a word?).  I've been feeling frozen and irritable, even told my daughter I was uncomfortable in my skin.  I wanted to do more but just got stuck.  Well, no more ... on to doing SOMETHING every day!

MONDAY
Feed and water kitties
Empty dishwasher
Eat breakfast
15 minutes decluttering in my bedroom
fill up the dishwasher

TUESDAY
15 minutes in bedroom - 2x
Take shower
Took nap in my bed - 1st time in over 2 years

WEDNESDAY
Clean catbox
Clean off coffee table
15 minutes in bedroom
Took out trash
Cleaned kitchen before dinner

THURSDAY
Spent 30 minutes sorting on my bed - moved a lot of stuff around

FRIDAY
15 Minutes in my bedroom

SATURDAY
Ate breakfast
30 Minutes in my bedroom
Did dishes

SUNDAY
Took the day off

What an eye opener this list has been.  I'm glad I kept track because it often motivated me to go do something else.  (Whatever gets me off my butt I'm willing to keep trying! lol)  I'm going to do it again this week and my goal is to do at least 3 things a day and an hour a day in my bedroom.

The endings you’re going thru are bringing about the beginnings you’ve been dreaming of!
http://thedailylove.com/daily-share-is-this-as-good-as-it-gets/

No, I'm Not Blind

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.
--James Thurber

Awareness.  Non-hoarders wonder how we can live with all our stuff piled around us.  I think it's weird how I can ignore the clutter and  live with it.  No, that's not true - I always SEE the clutter but somehow I turn a switch off in my brain that decides I'm NOT going to do something about it.  After all my hours of looking for other blogs by hoarders, I see a recurring statement over and over.  I've even heard people say it on the show Hoarders.  There is so much to do, I didn't know where to start, so I do nothing - outwardly, but inwardly I'm filled with another sense of failure and disgust. 

I am aware that when I do start to clean something I do it very thoroughly.  If my floors are dirty, I don't get a mop and a bucket, I get a heavy duty sponge, paper towels and a bowl of hot sudsy water.  And a heavy towel for me to kneel on as I clean my floors down on my knees.  It's that or nothing I'm afraid.  That's my way of doing the job perfectly and if I can't - then the floor doesn't get cleaned.  Not a very balanced way to do housework!!!  Certainly not efficient.

For four years I didn't have a working oven.  The burners did, which was a blessing, and I used a toaster oven and microwave to take care of oven items I wanted. ( In fact I was pretty proud what I could whip up in that tiny toaster overn.) This past Christmas I got my NEW range ... with a working oven, self cleaning and it was the loviest gift I've received in ages, since I'm a baker - the oven is pretty important to me.  It also makes me a little anil now about keeping it clean.  Other's don't seem to be as passionate as I am to keep is spotless.  I understand that and often hear my Mother's  comments made to me when I was a teenager and cooking in HER kitchen (They went in one ear and out the other, I'm sad to say)   Paybacks are a bitch!  The  bottom line with my stove is - I will clean it daily to keep it in perfect condition.  My new dishwasher is getting the same excellent care but the poor ol' fridge ... not so much.  I half-heartedly try to keep it clean but to be honest it's never as clean as I wish it was.

I'd better wind this up and get to bed.  The more I try to proof this the more I keep changing it and pretty soon it's just going to be gobble-dee-gook and make no sense to anyone.

Thanks for reading this far.  Hope I didn't totally confuse you.  Perhaps I shouldn't write at night, especially after I've taken my pills.  (LOL)

Night all,
Karen

"Are you living or just existing?"

-Tyler Perry

Not My Best Week

Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.   Benjamin Disraeli

This has been an extremely stressful week.  Stress is not good. (Duh)  I seem to have a lot of it, especially since I no longer live by myself, but this week was 100+ on a scale of 1-100.  Bottom line, I didn't accomplish much.  I tried but found myself just standing looking around and unable to make any decisions on where to start.

So what am I going to do about it?  I'm going to keep going in there every day and do the best I can.  One of my daughter's friends was over and I asked her if she could tell a difference, since the last time she'd been here.  She was honest and said no.  My daughter told her I really HAD made a lot of progress and I appreciate your support, one more time.  My reaction was, "gee, I really need to double my efforts".  My new goal this week is to do two 15 minute sessions every day.

Something I'm going to try is listing what I accomplish every day.  I found two great blogs this week and one of them does this.  Here's the two sites if you'd like to check them out:

A Slob Comes Clean - I can relate to how she changed her thinking and her behavior and plan to incorporate several of her methods in my daily routine.  It took me a long time to find this blog and I feel as tho I hit pay dirt when I did!  Perhaps it's because I can relate to her and I don't feel as though she's a professional organizer.

http://www.aslobcomesclean.com/

From Under the Pile - Ohhhh, I LOVE this blog!!!  I really connected with the second one.  It's awesome when you discover a blog and it's like they're inside your head and know what you're thinking and how you feel.
http://fromunderthepile.blogspot.com.htmll

Time for me to get off the computer and go do my first 15 minutes.

Wonder what I'll discover,
Karen

One Stack At A Time

Today I walked into my bedroom and tackled the first pile I came to.  It was a pile of books and papers and before I knew it .... I'd gone through it and ended up with one empty milk carton. Whoo Hoo! 

Since I have LOTS of paper I need to look at and sort, I'm now putting them in some milk crates (stacked on their side).  My current goal is to go through everything quickly and throw away the trash and anything else I can let go of without a lot of deliberation.  Sitting down and looking at every single piece of paper is going to be in my "stage 2".  I want to make as much progress as I can because that's what keeps me going.

The reason I have so much paper is I've always loved printing out quotes, stories that touched me, scrapbooking ideas, and school information related to my daughters.  I feel compelled to look at every single piece before letting it go because of the items that are primarily memorabila.

Today I'm going to focus on my gratitude for the things I can let go easily and deal with the rest as it comes.

I'm off to do my 15 minutes for today,
Karen

082511 - It's easy to get sidetracked

Sunday I accomplished so much and now I've slacked off the last 3 days.  In my defense, I've been babysitting my 2 wonderful granddaughters but that shouldn't keep me from getting my 15 minutes in.  I think I prefer working when I anticipate I can go as long as I want.  (Wrong thinking!)  If I can spend 5 minutes at a time then I'm still making progress.


What's my biggest challenges?  Definitely BOOKS and papers!  I have to look at every single piece of paper to be sure it's not something I want to add to future scrapbooking pages.  (Yes, this is where I wish I could just dump out all the paper I have but I'm not at the point - yet!)


I was talking to my therapist today and mentioned how I collect 3 scrapbooking items: tee shirts, mugs and novels.  She asked if I would consider just collecting one and have a really nice collection of one specific item.  Oh ... my anxiety went sky high.  I took a deep breathe and said, "Yes, I 'll consider it".  I admitted I didn't like it though.  Ohhhh, I think that's very telling, I'm not exactly sure what.  I guess that I do have more resistance in "letting go" then I thought I would.  Hmmm, that's interesting.

Have you done your 15 minutes today?
Karen

081911 - Going Back to the Beginning

When did my hoarding start?  I have no idea.  My parents moved a lot when I was growing up and I do remember I used to sweep everything into my closet, aka cleaning my room, when I was a teenager. I guess it was after I moved into my house, 26 years ago, that I can recognize the obivious hoarding signs.  My husband and my girls will tell you that I definitely had a problem with finding a home for everything.  (Today I know where my flashlight is and that's a big step for me! lol)

My saddest memory is how every Christmas Eve I went crazy trying to move my piles out of the den so the pictures on Christmas Day wouldn't show what a bad housekeeper I was.  That's what I thought I was - a bad housekeeper.  The term "hoarder" is one I hadn't heard of until TLC and A&E TV stations started airing their shows.

I can't change the memories my girls have from their childhood ... BUT I can make my granddaughter's holidays different.  Yes, that's definitely my #1 goal .... house cleaned and decorated for my 2 cutie-patootie's!

It just a little over 3 months until the holiday season, every 15 minutes I do now will affect the results the family will see in December.

Just 15 minutes a day is starting to making a dent,
Karen

Hoarder/Messie/Clutterer/Collector?

Good Morning,

Are you one of these?  There are lots of choices these days, or should I say "labels".  Unfortunately I'm all four of them.  I never thought about being a hoarder until I started watching the two TV shows about hoarding.  Don't much like using it but it's definitely what I am.  And yes, I'm also "messy", a "clutterer" and a "collector".  Guilty on all counts!  Bottom line - doesn't matter much what name I put on my behavior, my house is still a mess.  I'll admit to one thing I'm not too proud of - when I'm watching the shows on TV I often catch myself thinking, "Well, at least I'm not that bad".  Like that makes my any better, which it doesn't.  They are all where I am now and if I don't deal with my stuff now, I will be where they ended up.

I also wonder if I'd have the courage to let TV cameras come into my home?  Euuhhhh, I really can't imagine that.  Those people are brave!  I took a bunch of "before" pictures of my bedroom and I still haven't decided if I want to share them now or wait till I have the "after" pictures to offset them. (Until I find my camera cable it's a moot point - lol!)

A word about clothes ... I have a hard time letting go of them and I'm talking about tee shirts and casual wear.(At the moment I can't even get to my closet so I'll deal with my work clothes when I get to it!)  I've started a bin that I put the items that I'm going to give to a womens shelter.  For some reason, it's easier for me to "let go" to a specific cause vs just a donation drop off box.  I know there will be more discussions about clothes.  Basically now I'm just looking for what I can toss out and don't have to make any major decisions about.

Just 15 minutes a day is making a difference,
Karen

Some days are better than others

Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. ~ Dr. David M. Burns

Good Morning,     

The following is the best site I've discovered, during my search online, for positive information about hoarding.  It's called Stepping Out of Squalor.   They offer lots of information, tips and support for those overwhelmed with cleaning up their homes.   Right now I'm in a place where I want to read positive information, not just people who are still stuck and I find that uplifting

                                                             
http://takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/index.cgi

Being overwhelmed is one of the things that got me where I am today.  So much stuff ... where do I start?  My suggestion - start with any pile or cluttered surface.  My small front hallway has a huge box sitting next to a small desk and it's been there since last winter.  It's big enough that I can't just pick it up and stick it somewhere to get it out of my sight.  Lots of things also ended up on top of it.  Yesterday I received an email about feng shui and read about how important it is for your entry way to be clean and uncluttered.  Just reading that makes me want to go clean it up and find a new home for all the stuff that's been sitting there for way too long.   

If 15 minutes doesn't work for you, some people are successful when they throw out 50 items a day.  I will say that once I get off my bum and start working in my room, I often work longer than 15 minutes.  And then on other days, I do 3 - 5 minute clean up because I'm busy or distracted babysitting my 2 precious granddaughters.  I'm really amazed how unsettling it is if I don't do "my 15".  Doesn't feel good at all.  (I sure couldn't have predicted that feeling a month ago!!!)

My daughter is noticing my progress because it's spilt over into other rooms.  Yesterday I vacuumed for the first time in a long time.  The more I do my 15 minutes, the easier it is to do other areas.  Her positive comments are truly appreciated and I'm so lucky that both my girls are so supportive.

Life is good and it's getting better,

Karen

Welcome to my blog

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.   ~ Anna Quindlen

Hello Blog World,

I've decided to go ahead and blog about my progress in letting go of years of stuff/junk/crap.  (I know there are treasures in some of my boxes or bags and I will pull them out and honor them -instead of letting them just sit and collect dust.)  The past week I've been surfing the net looking for other blogs about hoarding and I'm disappointed at how few I found.  At first I resisted the idea of admitting to the world I'm a hoarder.  However I feel even stronger about sharing my journey then worrying about the shame.

It's been just a month since I started on this new path.  That's when I began therapy (again) and am so fortunate to have found a counselor I'm totally comfortable with.  (I've been down this road  before and it's a blessing to find one I feel safe with.)  Her suggestion was I work on my bedroom for 15 minutes a day.  So far, so good.  I'm actually noticing a difference.  (Whoo Hoo!)  What's funny is every time I make some open space on my bed I manage to fill it up with a new pile.  (I think that's what you call one step forward and two steps back! lol)  But it's the number of bags I've filled with trash that have given an even better indicator of my progress!

I did take "before" pictures and will share them when I get "after".


Goals this week:
1. 15 minutes spent decluttering
2. Take out trash accumulated daily
3. Put donated items in the trunk of my car

This is a good place to stop tonight.  Here are a couple of quotes I found when searching for progress not perfection.

Happy Sorting,
Karen

Maybe the most any of us can expect of ourselves isn’t perfection but progress.
–Michelle Burford

Perfection consists not in doing extraordinary things, but in doing ordinary things extraordinarily well. ~ Angelique Arnauld


My first unofficial slogan, for me, is WHEN IN DOUBT, THROW IT OUT!  It really helps me make quicker decisions when I'm waffling.  I think what does trip me up the most is having to touch every single piece of paper.  (No moaning permit by those reading this)  I know it's not the greatest way to go wade through my mountains of paper work but it's a must for me.  I'm a scrapbooker and always on the lookout for mementos to add to my girl's album.  It just how I gotta do it.  Some evening I bring a bin filled with paper   out to the living room and sort through them while them watching a TV shows.  (I use either baskets or small shoe bins and mark them: KEEP, BILLS, and Scrapbooking.  If it doesn't belong in one of them then it's straight to the trash bag.